Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  April 19, 2016 11:34pm-12:38am EDT

tv-commercial
11:34 pm
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- susan sarandon, john cena, musical guest michael stipe.
11:35 pm
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 443, baltimore! woo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, welcome, everybody! hi! welcome, welcome, welcome! welcome to the show! hot crowd tonight here in new york city. oh, my gosh. welcome. [ cheers ] thank you so much. welcome. welcome to "the tonight show",
11:36 pm
everybody. thank you so much for being here. i'm your host jimmy fallon. guys, it's now the second week of spring, but new york city was under a high wind advisory all day, with wind gusts up to 50 miles per hour. [ audience ohs ] most new yorkers -- most new yorkers went about their daily routines, while donald trump went into his panic room. [ laughter ] "easy, boy. easy, boy. [ growling ] all right, all right, calm down, boy. [ grownling ] all right, hold on. [ laughter ] okay. do you want a treat?" [ growling ] [ applause ] that's right. the weather here in new york was sunny, but chilly. or as meteorologists call it "the hillary clinton." [ laughter and applause ] "of course i'm excited to be here in iowa!" let's talk a little bit about the election here. i read that "wheel of fortune" has been earning a lot of money
11:37 pm
from political ads, almost $18 million so far in this election. it even seems like trump may have been able to slip one of his ads into one of the puzzles. take a look at this. >> 500. >> "u"? >> yeah. well that fills that out. [ ding ] >> yuuuuuuuge! >> there you go. [ applause ] >> jimmy: "yuuuuuuge!" here's some international news. fidel castro wrote a letter addressing president obama's historic trip to cuba and said that cuba doesn't want any presents from the u.s. which, as any husband will tell you, means they definitely want presents. [ laughter and applause ] don't fall for it! don't fall for it! i saw that there's a new documentary about queen elizabeth that reveals that she likes to ride horses at the age of 90. she still likes to ride horses. [ scattered cheers ] they're coin operated and sitting in front of a a supermarket. [ laughter ] but she doesn't need to know that. [ applause ]
11:38 pm
don't tell her. don't ruin it for her. "oh! oh, my goodness! oh, look, no hands!" no, why would she say -- [ light laughter ] she doesn't do that. the doc -- she should change the wave. that would be cool. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: if her new wave was this. [ laughter ] the documentary also reveals that the queen wears bright colors so people can spot her. yeah. and if she forgets to wear bright colors, just remember she's the one sitting in the chariot wearing the gigantic jewel-encrusted crown. [ laughter and applause ] that's the queen. which one's the queen? she ain't wearin' any bright colors. [ light laughter ] >> steve: i don't see her. oh, no, that's a building. [ laughter ] that ain't the queen. >> jimmy: that's the queen. oh, no, that's my car keys. [ laughter ] where's the queen? >> steve: you got the queen in your hands. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? you didn't know where the queen -- >> steve: you got the queen in your hand. i see it.
11:39 pm
>> jimmy: i'm not holding the -- this is a remote control. >> steve: oh, sorry. >> jimmy: what's wrong with you? >> steve: it was a bright color. >> jimmy: here's another weird story out of the u.k. i read that a cat in england actually survived for eight days after it climbed into a a box and its owner accidentally mailed it. [ light laughter ] the cat is doing fine, while the person who opened that box no longer has a face. [ laughter and applause ] i'd be upset, too. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: let's get to some sports here. i saw that a spring training game was delayed recently when a player for the chicago cubs was swarmed by bees. player was fine, while the pitcher had no idea what the signal he was getting. [ laughter ] screwed that joke up. so bad. i screwed that up joke so bad. [ applause ] i can't fix that. i can't fix it. there's no way to fix it. [ light laughter ] god, i flubbed like three lines in that one. that was just -- [ light laughter ] i couldn't say chicago. swarmed by bees? what was i doing? what was i talking about? gosh, that was -- sorry. it was funny. you're so nice.
11:40 pm
[ cheers and applause ] you still were nice. you laughed. that means a lot to me. you laughed and made me feel good, but that was -- want me to do it again? >> audience: yeah! >> jimmy: all right, hey, let's get to some sports. you guys like sports? [ cheers ] i saw that a spring training game was delayed recently when a player for the chicago cubs was swarmed by bees. [ audience ohs ] the player was fine, while the pitcher had no idea what signals he was getting. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ did you guys see this? novak djokovic was playing in the miami open this weekend and he turned some heads by catching a tennis ball in his pocket in the middle of a a match. did you see this? take a look at this. this is real. >> points. >> jimmy: watch, he's -- and --
11:41 pm
[ cheers ] >> jimmy: look at the slow-mo. yeah. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] the ball boy was like, "do i still have to get that?" [ laughter and applause ] "i got it, i got it! oh! oh!" [ popping sound ] >> jimmy: some local news here -- [ laughter ] [ popping sound ] [ laughter ] some local news here, doctors here in new york will now be required to send prescriptions electronically instead of writing them by hand. but don't worry, the pharmacist will still loudly yell your name when it's ready. so don't worry. [ light laughter ] "boner pills for todd smith! [ laughter and applause ] extra large bottle of boner pills. t-o-d-d, todd smith. that's him right here. he's coming over here.
11:42 pm
he's got the boner pills. that's for him. that's the todd smith i'm talking about. hi, sir, how are you today?" "can you get off the loud speaker?" [ light laughter ] another local story, i saw that the times square spider-man actually wore his costume to court over the weekend -- [ light laughter ] to plead not guilty to assault charges. whereas i wear my spider-man costume to court just to get out of jury duty. [ laughter and applause ] "he looks guilty to me, your honor. looks like the queen!" that's right, times square spider-man had to go to court to face assault charges. in fact, his behavior has gotten so bad that they've even had to remake the opening of the old "spider-man" cartoon show. take a look at this. ♪ ♪ spider-man spider-man he's the times square spider-man ♪ ♪ punches tourists in the face shows his junk then gets maced ♪ ♪ watch out don't tip the spider-man ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
11:43 pm
>> jimmy: we have a great show! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got a great week of shows ahead. james spader, taylor lautner and aaron paul will be here. [ cheers and applause ] plus, we have performances from weezer and comedian nate bargatze. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's going to be good. but first, we have a fun show tonight. oh, my gosh. this is a good one tonight. [ cheers ] from the new movie "the meddler", the beautiful, the talented susan sarandon is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: "the meddler." plus, this guy is a legend in his sport and one of the most popular, hardest working entertainers out there. he was great in "trainwreck", i
11:44 pm
don't know if you saw that. [ cheers ] and "sisters." john cena is back on the show tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: john -- john cena. john is going to tell us about his new reality series, "american grit." i love my reality shows. and then i'm going to test his grit in a game of "sticky balls." [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: really? that's no djokovic. >> jimmy: see if djokovic -- yeah. you beat me on that one. reminds me of an old djokovic. [ light laughter ] and performing tonight -- he's one of the most beautiful voices, most talented writer, performer, artists of our generation. i love this guy so much. from r.e.m., michael stipe is here tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't describe -- i can't describe how much i love this guy. i got to meet him a couple of years back with mutual friends. we went out one night with our friends julie and jane. we went out and went to a a karaoke bar.
11:45 pm
true story. with michael stipe. [ light laughter ] i was like, i couldn't believe that he actually walked in. i'm like, "oh, cool, he's just gonna --" you know, he's quiet. i thought he was just going to sit in the back. i go, "why don't you go out and sing something?" he's like -- [ light laughter ] we decided on a song and he went up and sang neil diamond and everyone was like, "what?" [ laughter ] this was before you could videotape anything on your phone. it was just, like, a memory that you had to keep. this is -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> steve: kids won't understand that. >> jimmy: kids won't understand that. yeah. but you had to remember stuff years back. yeah. anyway, he's here tonight. he's going to do something touching and awesome and just beautiful. so stay tuned if you're at home watching, because tonight is going to be memorable. [ cheers and applause ] guys, it is time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪
11:46 pm
>> jimmy: tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of taking a carnival cruise to cuba. [ light laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: there are some cons. >> steve: oh, really? >> jimmy: starting in may, carnival will offer cruises from the u.s. to cuba. and it's the first time this has happened in over 50 years. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: yeah, so let's look at the pros and cons of taking a carnival cruise to cuba. here we go. pro -- getting to see what life is like in a third world country. con -- then getting off the ship and going to cuba. [ laughter and applause ] pro -- meeting a new friend on the cruise. con -- realizing he's one of those people who pronounced cuba as "coo-ba." [ laughter and applause ] they get annoying. pro -- the cruises to cuba start the first week of may. con -- signing up for the special sink-o de mayo voyage. [ laughter ] that's not good.
11:47 pm
that's not good at all. that's awful. pro -- there's an olive garden on the main floor. con -- there's a chipotle on the poop deck. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: there's options. what i'm saying is there's plenty of options. >> steve: cruise ship. ship. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: pro -- receiving a commemorative dvd of your carnival cruise experience. con -- it's just an episode of "dateline." [ audience groans ] [ applause ] oh, that's bad. >> steve: they were murdered. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: pro -- waving good-bye as the ship leaves cuba. con -- you wave like this. >> all right. [ laughter ] >> steve: see ya. it's the queen! it's the queen! >> jimmy: is that the -- it's the queen right there! no, it's the president of the united states. >> steve: oh, my bad. i thought it was the queen. >> jimmy: i'm not wearing my contacts. [ light laughter ]
11:48 pm
>> steve: you don't wear contacts. >> jimmy: i don't wear contacts. wait a second. >> steve: hey! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like "weekend at bernie's." >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "you're the coolest, bernie!" can we see that video again? can i just see the video? >> all right. >> jimmy: there you go, yeah. looks like he's dunking on him. pro -- learning about a bitter conflict that's been going on for decades. con -- the one between the old married couple standing in front of you in the buffet line. [ laughter and applause ] stay out of it. stay out of it. >> steve: don't get involved. >> jimmy: pro -- before this, the only way to travel to cuba was on a a makeshift raft with no food or water. con -- or as carnival calls that "business class." it's business. [ applause ] finally, pro -- passing by the prisoners at guantanamo bay and thinking, "i'm glad that's not me." con -- the prisoners at guantanamo bay looking at the carnival cruise
11:49 pm
ship and saying, "i'm glad that's not me." [ applause ] that's the "pros and cons." we'll be right back with susan sarandon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when josh atkins books at laquinta.com. he gets a ready for you alert the second his room is ready. so you know what he gives? i'll give you everything i've got and then some. he gives a hundred and ten percent! i'm confident this 10% can boost your market share. feel me lois?
11:50 pm
i'm feeling you. boom! look at that pie chart. the ready for you alert, only at laquinta.com. ♪ ♪
11:51 pm
♪ ♪ ♪
tv-commercial
11:52 pm
modres: the cost of living the pay stays the same. i have to work extra hours just to make ends meet. it's a big struggle. one person that really gets this is katie mcginty. she came from a working-class family. she was ninth of 10 kids. she gets it. she'll fight for equal pay for equal work. katie mcginty will protect social security and medicare. that's why president obama and vice president biden support her, too. she'll make a heck of a senator. dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising. brought to you bytitude escape to margaritaville, the new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. featuring a second chance trip to the fabulous margaritaville beach resort in hollywood beach, florida. the ultimate paradise getaway, offering relaxation, entertainment and adventure. incredible dining and more. escape to margaritaville. paradise could be yours in an instant.
11:53 pm
keep on scratchin' ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is an academy award winning actress who stars in the new film "the meddler" which opens in select theaters on april 22nd. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, susan sarandon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we love you. hi! welcome back. >> i love those guys. thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much for
11:54 pm
being here. >> you're rocking those bee jokes. >> jimmy: i mean. >> fabulous bee jokes. >> jimmy: the bee ones. oh, thank you. i try to do a swarm of bees jokes every single night. thank you for brining it up. >> i'm glad i could be here for that. >> jimmy: i'm glad you could be be here, too, yeah. everyone's all a-buzz. [ laughter ] now, honey -- >> uh-huh. [ laughter ] [ southern accent ] >> jimmy: i wanna talk about your new movie, honey. >> uh-huh, you do that, honey. uh-huh. >> jimmy: yeah. first of all what's -- >> you know, that's my grandma name, honey. >> jimmy: honey? >> honey. >> jimmy: i did not know that. >> now you know. >> jimmy: yeah, you do, yeah. [ laughter ] that's a great name. >> he calls me honey. honey, hug me. >> jimmy: was that a real name or a nickname? >> in the south, well no, it's not my real name. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i'm sorry. i thought you said it was your grandma's name. >> it is my grandma name. but she just calls me honey. >> jimmy: oh, it's your -- i thought you said it was your, "grandma's name." >> as i'm now -- should we start from the beginning? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. ♪ no, no, no, stop. no, no, no. this is the way the whole night is going. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's just the way it is. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we've just been bracing the obscure, the weird,
11:55 pm
and the fun. >> i'm digging it. let's go. >> jimmy: yeah. my grandma name. >> what's next? just skip over that. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: come on! i want to know the story. all right, now i don't wanna know. >> that's obviously a stumbling block for you. let's just go. go to the next thing. what are we talking about here. >> jimmy: i don't know. yeah. >> what are we talking about. >> jimmy: how long have you been wrestling? no, that's for john cena. [ laughter and applause ] i don't even know what i'm holding. i want to know what happened to you. >> i fell. >> jimmy: did that happen in the ring? >> i fell down a mountain in colombia. >> jimmy: come on! [ laughter ] >> i fell down a mountain in colombia. i was hiking. and if you're going to fall, it's better to fall down the mountain because when you're up at the top someone has to take you down. but if you fall and break your ankle at the bottom, i highly recommend that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, okay. all right. so this all happened at the bottom. oh, that's awful. >> it happens, yeah. it's going to heal. it's kind of like, you know, phantom of the opera or something. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, a foot mask.
11:56 pm
i want to talk about this really quick. you know it's the 25th anniversary of "thelma and louise." [ cheers and applause ] you've done so many iconic movies, but this one kind of -- this one kind of sticks with you. i mean this is a great one. this one stay was you here. everyone's like, are they thelma or louise or what do they feel like? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm thelma. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm a louise. i'm a honey. [ laughter ] but i heard this thing. does this ever come up? because i heard a thing on -- i read it on the internet, they're thinking about a sequel to "thelma and louise." >> they were thinking about it, but i can't imagine what that would be. and neither could they, obviously, because there wasn't one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how could there possibly be? >> i said, what would i be doing? and tim said, "you'd be getting a big check." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: would you be ghosts? >> do you have a suggestion? for what it could be? because i don't. >> jimmy: well, maybe after you -- spoiler alert. [ laughter ] after you drive off -- >> after we drive off.
11:57 pm
>> jimmy: maybe you land of a a spaceship or something? [ laughter ] or maybe it's not that big of a -- >> okay. the "x" files just came back, why not. we could do that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: or maybe the cliff isn't that big of a cliff and you more just get into a a tumble, and then you're in a a coma for 25 years. [ laughter ] >> and then we wake up and what happens to us then? we're like -- >> jimmy: your identities are swapped and it's like a a danielle steele novel. >> i like it. [ laughter ] i like it. >> jimmy: not bad, right? >> yeah, okay. >> jimmy: yeah, we could make it work. yeah. >> all right. [ laughter ] i have a few other films that are getting anniversaries. we should come to you for everything. >> jimmy: why not, i'm good at this. i can just spit these ideas out. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you should definitely do the identity swap movie. >> okay. okay. >> jimmy: let's talk about an actual movie that's out, "the meddler." congrats on this. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and what a good cast. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are the mom of rose byrne. >> yeah, who's brilliant. so funny, so beautiful. had to do so much in one scene, like one take, like the "x-games" of acting. she's just like, mad, laughing,
11:58 pm
crying, angry, crying and laughing, all in like one scene. >> jimmy: the x games of acting. >> you'll see. you'll love it. you'll love it. it it's really good. [ cheers and applause ] really good. >> jimmy: you're the mom and you're meddling. you're the meddler. you're meddling in her life. >> i try -- yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah. i tend to try to -- i'm well intentioned. >> jimmy: yes, you're well intentioned. >> i'm well intentioned. and there's a lot of funny things and everyone has a a mother so you can relate to it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and your mother meddles? do you have a meddler? >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. yeah. i mean, kind of not really. i mean, she's just more -- at this point, i just, i can't even just discuss. you know? [ laughter ] she calls me the other day because they're going on vacation, my parents, for the first time in ten years or something. they just don't go on vacation. i go, "great, please go on vacation. it'll be fun." they go, "all right, so i'm already packing." it's like three weeks away, they're already packing. [ laughter ] then i go, "i can't even talk to you about that." and she goes, "we're leaving here at 2:30 in the morning.' i go, "all right, why?" she goes, "well, the flight's at 6:00.
11:59 pm
they say you should be there two hours before." [ laughter ] and i go, "what are you going to do at the airport at 4:00 in the morning or whatever time you get there. 3:00 in the morning? and then what time do you get to the place?" this story goes nowhere, by the way. [ laughter ] >> it sounds like you're meddling in her life actually. >> jimmy: well, i didn't -- [ audience ohs ] >> i don't know. get to the end. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: anyway, she drove off a cliff. she drove off a cliff. it's a sad ending. ♪ no, no, no -- thank you very much. no, no, no. anywasys, we'll cut this out. but i just want to tell you what happens. so anyways, she's going, and 6:00 a.m. i go, by the time -- [ laughter ] have a drink, 'cause this is a a long story. >> i can tell. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i said, "by the time you get there it's going to be 9:00 in the morning. your room won't be ready until 3:00. what's wrong with you and dad?" i go, "you're the one that booked this flight. you booked it, right?" >> that's -- ♪
12:00 am
[ cheers and applause ] oh, my god, were there any bees around? [ laughter and applause ] oh, god. okay. >> jimmy: i'm so fun to hang out with. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, we have a clip here. here's susan sarandon and rose byrne in "the meddler" in theaters april -- >> oh, wait a minute. [ laughter ] which i think you have to set it up. you have to say that it's valentine's day and the guy that comes in is her ex-boyfriend. all right, now do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's in theaters april 22nd. [ laughter ] check this out. >> hey, you two.
12:01 am
>> hey, you two. >> hey. >> hey, marnie. >> jacob, it's good to see you. you know, i never said anything bad about you. >> you know elise, right? >> yeah. >> yeah. >> well, we don't want to interrupt your girl time. >> no. no, no, it's fine. we were just doing a drive-by until i go out later. i didn't want her to spend valentine's day alone. >> i didn't want her to spend it alone either. >> i'm not alone. >> no. we're together. >> until later when i'm meeting other people. >> i thought we were having a a sleep-over? >> that's so cute. i wish my mom and i were that close. >> aw, well, maybe when you get older. >> jimmy: come on! you know how to do it right there. the best, susan sarandon, everybody, "the meddler" is in theaters april 22nd! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with john cena, everybody. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:02 am
[electronic sound effects] brace yourself... the first ever gsf is here. with a 467 horse power v8 engine... torque vectoring differential... and brembo brakes. it's the next expression of f performance, from lexus. drop that beat♪ ♪ yea we rocking right now. ♪ one time... ♪ two times.
12:03 am
12:04 am
man, i'm glaaflac!c pays cash. isn't major medical enough? no! who's gonna' help cover the holes in their plans? aflac! like rising co-pays and deductibles... aflac! or help pay the mortgage? or child care? aflaaac! and everyday expenses? aflac! learn about one day pay at aflac.com/boat blurlbrlblrlbr!!! which has that one scene you forgot about.. so you use your go-to parental blocking device... which also happens to be your go-to snack. baked with real ingredients. no artificial flavors or colors. introducing good thins. your go-to good. ♪ woo! ♪ ♪ i'm in heaven. ♪ ♪ a-aaah. yea yea.
tv-commercial
12:05 am
(neighbor) yeah, so we're just bringing your son home. (dad) ah! greetings, neighbor. neighbor boy. he really loves our wireless directv receiver. (dad) he should know better. we're settlers. we settle for cable. but let us repay you for your troubles. fresh milk for the journey home? (neighbor) we live right there. (dad) salted meats? (neighbor) no thank you. (dad) hats then! (vo) don't be a settler, get a $100 reward card when you switch to directv. why should we trust a like steve santarsiero who will say anything to win an election? after claiming credit for passing universal background checks for all gun purchases, "santarsiero admitted in an interview that he didn't write pennsylvania's gun safety law." his campaign brags about his accomplishments, but "in fact, he has failed in 54 attempts to get any legislation on the books." we just cant trust steve santarsiero. i'm shaughnessy naughton, and i approve this message
12:06 am
because we deserve better. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a 15-time wwe world heavyweight champion. [ cheers ] and international ambassador for his sport. he's hilarious in big comedies like "trainwreck" and "sisters," and is the executive producer and host of a really new cool reality series called
12:07 am
"american grit," which premieres thursday april 14th at 9:00 p.m. on fox. please welcome back, a good friend of the show, mr. john cena! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you are the best. we love having you here. welcome, john cena. >> and i love being here on a a night like tonight. everybody's got the giggles. stuff's going good. the crowd is excited. >> jimmy: hot crowd. [ cheers ] hot crowd. i knew it. >> do you know why? >> jimmy: why? >> i'll tell you why, because it's wrestlemania season and they know it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ which they also means they also know wrestlemania is this sunday, and if they're not traveling to dallas to at&t stadium to see wrestlemania
12:08 am
they know to sign up on the wwe network to watch wrestlemania. [ laughter ] and if they've never signed up on the wwe network and this is their first time they're going to get wrestlemania for free! >> jimmy: woah, my god! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> all right. now let's talk about something else. >> jimmy: all together now. all together now, yeah. i don't know how you do it all. i don't know how you do it all. >> i'm insane. >> jimmy: you are. no but i mean -- >> clinical diagnosis, real disease. >> jimmy: last time i saw you here and i told you how good you are but i really, really meant it. >> liar! you're a liar. >> jimmy: i hope you feel the love. >> you looked me in the eye and lied to my face. >> jimmy: no. i told you. i couldn't even believe it. you're in a movie with unbelievable comedians and you're stealing the scene. >> none of which you're naming right now, i mean, it's unbelievable, it's great. >> jimmy: yeah. was that an impression of me? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not bad. [ laughter ] but it means it's amy schumer, tina fey, amy poehler. [ cheers ] >> some great people. yeah. >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> so let me get this straight.
12:09 am
all these funny people were in movies that you thought were funny. that's how it's supposed to go. >> jimmy: well, i know. but i didn't expect you to be funny. [ laughter ] [ booing ] no, no. i was just kidding. ♪ no, no, john, john. john, i was kidding. john, i meant your jokes. oh, no. john. [ laughter ] talk to me. son? son? son? ♪ [ laughter ] son? ♪ ♪ john talk to me let me know where your head's at now ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ ♪ you're my boy "you're my boy", it's our new musical.
12:10 am
>> you guys are really good sports, thank you. >> jimmy: you're my boy. dude, i knew you were going to be funny. you were just unbelievable in it. so that's, i just can't stop saying. [ laughter ] let's talk about "american grit." >> let's talk about "american grit." >> jimmy: because "american grit", it's on fox. >> thursdays night at 9:00 starting april 14th, that's your new home for "american grit." [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i love reality shows and reality competition shows. it's kind of like "survivor," no, kind of like "american ninja warrior," but not really. >> but not really. it's kind of like the greatest show you'll ever see. >> jimmy: yes, it really is. >> aside from this one, of course. >> jimmy: ah-ha. thank you, mr. cena! [ cheers and applause ] checkmate my friend. you're the greatest. what is the show about? because you can describe it better than i can. >> yes. we have four decorated military heroes, we've got a navy seal commander, a sergeant from the united states army, a 19 year gunnery sergeant from the marine corps who's a female and badass, and we got an army ranger sniper and they're each going to lead teams of four normal civilians through these military teambuilding challenges. now, you watch the crazy,
12:11 am
outlandish reality competition series, there's just a really good moral dna to this because if you listen to the military heroes we've got, they think there is a large gap between military folks and civilians. and these guys have so much real life experiences being in some crisis situations. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and having to manage large groups to move efficiently. so it's basically that passage of knowledge so these civilians can kind of learn through these mentors and evolve through this challenge and if they can make it to the end, well they get a a hefty paycheck. they could win up to a a million bucks. so it's really cool to see these really decorated heroes pass on some knowledge that has really been kept to the military to these civilians and let them solve these teambuilding exercises in a way that's -- nothing like its on tv. it really is a special show. >> jimmy: and the guys that you have learning the lessons, whoever did the casting deserves an award. because that, i mean, you got some real characters. >> there's all different types of personalities.
12:12 am
>> jimmy: there's characters on this show. >> yes, there is. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> but honestly, through it all -- through it all. and the goal of this was to get these type of characters and literally you can watch them evolve through this journey. they may start one way. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know one guy, you know, the -- >> the guy? >> jimmy: yeah. >> the guy with the face? >> jimmy: the guy with that face. [ laughter ] no, there's a guy who's like a -- he's a physical trainer. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's a villain. no, that's my opinion. >> okay. [ laughter ] but you don't like most everybody. >> jimmy: what are you saying? >> you already made fun of me. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: i didn't make fun of you. >> yeah, you did. >> jimmy: no, i didn't make fun of you. >> you said i wasn't funny. >> jimmy: no. i said i didn't expect you to be funny. [ laughter ] john, john. ♪ every time you're on the show you do a bit you do something that's funny, and i love it. and you always destroy. you're one of my favorite guests you know it. >> because i destroy your place. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. in the best way. in the best way. the crowd loves you. i love you. [ cheers and applause ]
12:13 am
>> they are awesome! hot crowd. hot crowd tonight. >> jimmy: well, i mean, since day one, i wanna say the first week when we did "late night" you were our guest. >> yeah. >> jimy: and you came out through the floor with smoke. >> oh yeah. >> jimmy: do you remember that? >> yes, i do. it was terrifying. >> jimmy: there was too much smoke. >> there was too much smoke. you guys had made some really small trap door that you wedged me through. i felt like mozzarella cheese going through a grater. [ laughter ] clothes ripped to shreds. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i had to walk down the staircase. >> jimmy: with all the smoke. >> yeah, of course, it was awesome. made it. it was great. >> jimmy: you did make it. yeah. >> i'm here. >> jimmy: tonight i thought it would be fun because we talked about your show, "american grit." >> yeah. watch "american grit," guys. >> jimmy: yeah, you have to watch it. [ cheers and applause ] but also, i know you're nursing a sore shoulder, right? >> i had surgery. i fell up a mountain in the great plains. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's a theme. don't go hiking there. >> never fallen up a mountain before. >> jimmy: never fallen up a a mountain before but now you did. uh, honey? [ laughter ]
12:14 am
>> come on. >> jimmy: do you want to play a a game with me, please, when we come back? [ cheers ] >> yes. let's play a game. let's play a game. >> jimmy: john cena and i are playing sticky balls after the break! you don't want to miss this game! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ honey, did you call the insurance company? not yet, i'm... folding the laundry! can you? no... cleaning the windows! the living room's a disaster! (vo) most insurance companies give you every reason to avoid them. plants need planting! well the leaves aren't going to rake themselves! (vo) nationwide is different. hon, did you call nationwide to check on our claim? (vo) we put members first. actually, they called me. ♪ nationwide is on your side nationwide is the exclusive insurance partner of plenti. [ hawk squawk ] start boldly with the apple that bites back.
12:15 am
[ whip cracks ] redd's wicked apple. it's about to get wicked. for every 10 nights i stay, i get one free.s rewards program is simple. this however, will not be simple. you gotta ride the belt, captain obvious. i have liquids in my body! versus the lube strip. with a hydrating gel reservoir that gives you 40% less friction. it's designed like no other razor to protect from irritation. sorry, lube strip. schick hydro®. free your skin®. introducing jim beam apple.e together to make history. poured over ice and served with club soda and a fresh lemon wedge. to make a crisp refreshing jim beam apple and soda.
12:16 am
♪ with intuitive all-wheel drive. take on the unexpected. start boldly with the [ apple that bites back. redd's wicked apple. it's about to get wicked. ♪ the candy man can 'cause he need some help, guys? yeah. no. ♪ living for tomorrow, ♪ lost within a dream ♪ let the sun shine through ♪ to lift your spirits once again ♪ ♪ 'cause love makes the world feel good ♪ ♪ and it feels so good ♪ oh yeah and it feels so good
tv-commercial
12:17 am
♪ the candy man can 'cause he mixes it with love ♪ ♪ and makes the world taste good ♪ joe sestak supports a plan that the new york timesfactreported makes cuts to social security benefits. and the plan raises the retirement age. it's true. the a.a.r.p. opposed the plan, citing dramatic cuts to medicare benefits. the plan sestak supports means higher out-of-pocket costs for millions on medicare. any way you spin it, the truth about sestak is gonna hurt. women vote is responsible for the content of this advertising.
tv-commercial
12:18 am
that's what congressman for wsestak did.ceos - sestak was one of only eight democrats to join republicans to allow ceos of bailed out banks to pay themselves unlimited bonuses using bailout money. an "outrage," according to newspapers. katie mcginty- tough on wall street ceos, a fighter for pay equity for women. praised by former gov. ed rendell,
12:19 am
"she'll stand strong for working families." katie: i'm katie mcginty and i approve this message. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to "the tonight show." i'm here with john cena, everybody -- [ cheers and applause ] who we love. he has a new reality series, "american grit." it premieres on fox thursday april 14th at 9:00 p.m. [ light laughter ] john and i are about to play a a game of sticky balls, which of course refers to these balls which stick to these velcro suits that we're wearing. >> what would they think it'd be? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know. i'm just saying. maybe like we're making like a a dessert, sticky balls. [ laughter and applause ] hey, we're going to put 45 seconds on the clock and then throw these sticky balls at one another until time runs out.
12:20 am
once we're done, john and i each will count the sticky balls stuck to the other guy. the one with the most balls stuck to his suit loses. [ laughter ] questlove -- the first ball thrown has to be one of the balls on your center line here. >> okay, fair enough. >> jimmy: okay, very good. no crossing over into the other guy's court. >> just want you to know i'm all balls, bro. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a ballsy game, man. absolutely no removing of the balls from your suit once you've been hit. >> okay, fair enough. >> jimmy: perfect. [ laughter ] now, let's assume the position. [ laughter ] all right, ready? assume the position. hand on the wall. ready? three, two, one, sticky balls! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> i will kill you. if you throw something at me, i will kill you. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:21 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> that was actually pretty fun. [ applause ] that's a pretty good time. >> jimmy: that was it right here. looks like a close -- close game. >> just two dudes playing sticky balls, exhausted. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: john, will you count my balls, please.
12:22 am
>> oh, yeah. [ laughter ] well, you at least got two. >> jimmy: yeah. thank you. thank you. >> four. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm going to save that one for later. [ laughter ] six, eight, ten. this is a nice one. 12, 14. >> jimmy: my spanx is coming off. [ laughter ] >> 15. >> jimmy: 15 balls? >> hold on. 16 and one quarter. [ laughter ] 17. >> jimmy: 17? ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: one, two. >> just do it, man. >> jimmy: three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 11, 12, -- >> get the ones down low. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 13. [ laughter ] 14. [ laughter ] >> what's the damage? how much do i owe you, man?
12:23 am
>> jimmy: 16. it's a tie. [ audience shouting ] no, there isn't! >> oh! >> jimmy: 18! [ audience ohs ] ♪ john cena, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] my man, john cena. check out "american grit," everybody. >> master of the balls! >> jimmy: we have a performance by michael stipe after the break! stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ this year, make every amazing, despicable, wizarding second of your vacation count by staying where the adventure never ends. ♪ come with me now... two theme parks. spectacular resort hotels. more epic than ever. don't just vacation... ♪ whoa go with me now vacation like you mean it. universal orlando resort. go big with on-site hotel rates starting at just $120 per night.
12:24 am
steady morning energy whether you...e play it cool... how's it going? or don't play it cool. you're attractive! i just... i didn't mean to come on so... i... wasn't coming on to you i actually have a boyfriend. belvita. because we can all use steady morning energy.
12:25 am
unlimited data from at&t means you can stream it all. like that anthony michael hall movie where he fights with the girl. the one where he gets rejected by the girl. even stream the one where he creates the girl. with unlimited data, you can stream all the anthony michael hall movies you want. i wonder what he's up to these days maybe he's shopping in an at&t store? get unlimited data and your fourth line free when you have at&t wireless and directv. plus, up to $650 in credits to help you switch. from the makers of pepsi cola. i'm gonna swirl it. i'm gonna smell it. i'm just gonna take one small sip... kinda seemed like more than a sip. here let me show you. ahhh!!! refined. 1893. made with kola nut extract and real sugar.
12:26 am
boldly blended colas. i think we should've taken a tarzan know where tarzan go! tarzan does not know where tarzan go. hey, excuse me, do you know where the waterfall is? waterfall? no, me tarzan, king of jungle. why don't you want to just ask somebody? if you're a couple, you fight over directions. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. oh ohhhhh it's what you do. ohhhhhh! do you have to do that right in my ear? hey pal? you ready? can you pick me up at 6:30? ah... (boy) i'm here! i'm here! (cop) too late. i was gone for five minutes! ugh! move it. you're killing me. you know what, dad? i'm good. (dad) it may be quite a while before he's ready, but our subaru legacy will be waiting for him. (vo) the longest-lasting midsize sedan in its class. the twenty-sixteen subaru legacy.
12:27 am
it's not just a sedan. it's a subaru. i missed a payment. aw, shoot. shoot! this is bad. no! we're good! this is your first time missing a payment. and you've got the discover it card, so we won't hike up your apr for paying late. that's great! it is great! (both simultaneously) thank you. at discover, we treat you like you'd treat you. get the it card with late payment forgiveness.
12:28 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight's musical guest will perform at both sold-out "music of david bowie" tribute concerts here in new york this week. [ cheers and applause ] you can live stream friday's concert at musicofdavidbowie.com. 100% of the proceeds will benefit music education charities. performing david bowie's "the man who sold the world," please welcome michael stipe! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:29 am
♪ we passed upon the stair we spoke of was and when although i was not there he said i was his friend ♪ ♪ which came as some surprise i spoke into his eyes ♪ ♪ i thought you died alone a long long time ago ♪ ♪ oh no not me i never lost control ♪ ♪ you're face to face with the man who sold the world ♪ ♪
12:30 am
♪ i left and shook his hand and made my way back home ♪ ♪ i searched for form and land for years and years i roamed i gazed a gazely stare ♪ ♪ at all the millions there we must have died alone a long long time ago ♪ ♪ who knows not me i never lost control ♪ ♪ you're face to face with the man who sold the world ♪ ♪ ♪ who knows not me i never lost control ♪
12:31 am
♪ you're face to face with the man who sold the world ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:32 am
>> jimmy: michael stipe, everybody! thank you very much. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
12:33 am
thanks for coming today. i want each of you to grab a 2x8 and cut it. you'll have 2 saws to choose from. ♪ you all chose the best tool for the job. wouldn't it make sense to make the same choice, when it comes to your truck? (all) absolutely. this is the 2016 chevy silverado. nice. a good-looking pick-up. incredible. i love it. find your tag and get a total value of $9,000 on this silverado double cab all star.
tv-commercial
12:34 am
find new roads at your local chevy dealer.
tv-commercial
12:35 am
most new wealth flows it's called a rigged economy, and this is how it works. to the top 1%. it's a system held in place by corrupt politics where wall street banks and billionaires buy elections. my campaign is powered by millions of small contributions. people like you who want to fight back. the truth is you can't change a corrupt system by taking its money. i'm bernie sanders. i approve this message. join us for real change. it's and as fans of awesome tv shows! now are you with me?
12:36 am
three, two, one... watchathon! big is back. xfinity watchathon week now until april 24. the greatest collection of shows free with xfinity on demand. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our thanks to susan sarandon, john cena, michael stipe, once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
12:37 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- olivia wilde star of, "peewee's big holiday" paul reubens, music from joywave, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers this is, "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] all right, in that case, let's get to the news. two women were arrested at a bernie sanders rally in l.a. yesterday for removing their tops and revealing the words, "feel the bern," written on their naked bodies. so even if bernie doesn't beat hillary, he could still end up

562 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on